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Babies, Parenting

10 ways you’re a TOTALLY different parent with your second baby

Hayley Pearson by Hayley Pearson
February 2nd, 2017
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I’m a helicopter mum. I want to wrap my boys in bubble wrap and make sure they’ll always be safe and happy. I’ve told my three-year-old that he’s never allowed to move out of home. I WILL be that crazy mother-in-law who hates the woman/man he marries, because it means I won’t be the love of his life anymore. You think I’m joking? I’m not. For me, going from one baby to two was much easier than going from no babies to one. Nothing’s new. You’ve seen it all before, so you don’t sweat the small things.

Either way, number two gets a very different ride than number one. What do you think?

1. When childcare calls to say he’s got a temperature…

BABY #1

You’re there within five minutes, have already called the Parenting Hotline and are on your way to The Children’s Hospital. Your husband/partner is also leaving work to be with you.

BABY #2

Your immediate response is, “FOR F**K’S SAKE!” Then, say you’ll be there as soon as you can… after you’ve done a few errands, had a nap, been to the hairdressers and “got your nails did”.

2. When your child starts to eat solids…

BABY #1

Everything is still mashed or in pieces so tiny that they look like specs of dust. Choking is your biggest fear.

BABY #2

Is five months too soon for steak?

Baby #2 first solids. No puree in sight.

Baby #2 first solids. No puree in sight.

3. When he comes home from the hospital for the first time…

BABY #1

Nursery is set up like a display home. You’ve folded and unfolded his tiny clothes a million times. And every nappy, (different) cream, baby oil and hand sanitiser is placed perfectly on the change table.

BABY #2

You realise when you get home that your husband forgot to set up the cot. He goes out to the garage to get it, dusts it off and sets it up in between random piles of old clothes and washing baskets. You’re sweet.

4. Growing up and reaching milestones…

BABY #1

OMG this is so cool — he’s sitting up! He’s walking! He’s talking! “Quick, take a photo and mark the date in our Special Milestone notebook.”

BABY #2

My heart is breaking. Don’t grow up. You must be my baby forever!

5. When he falls off the couch (for the first time)…

BABY #1

OMG, he’s dead! On the phone to the Parenting Hotline, “I just looked away for a second and he rolled off!” I feel sick. How do I tell my husband!??

BABY #2

Oh, you’re okay bubba! Stay there while I take a photo of you. #justrolledoffthecouch

6. In the first three months after having a baby…

BABY #1

I’m struggling. I don’t have time to do anything. I haven’t eaten lunch, I’m still in my PJs and I can barely cope!

BABY #2

Babies are so easy, they just sleep and eat. Why did I complain the first time?

7. When someone offers you their hand-me-downs…

BABY #1

Ewww… hand-me-downs! No. My baby will only be wearing NEW clothes (preferably from Seed).

BABY #2

HAND-ME-DOWNS ARE THE BEST. THING. EVER!!!

8. First birthday rolls around…

BABY #1

Jumping castle — check. Face painting — check. Pony — check. The rest of the petting zoo — check. 100 x adults and only 3 x kids — check.

BABY #2

Let’s just have a family lunch at home. I’m too tired to arrange a party.

Definitely baby #1 first birthday spread

Definitely baby #1 first birthday spread

9. When the midwife tells you, “Breast is best”…

BABY #1

You believe her. She’s GOD. You’ll go through six rounds of mastitis, bleeding nipples and a starving baby because God said so.

BABY #2

TWO WORDS: Karicare Gold

10. You’re invited to Mothers’ Group…

BABY #1

First rule of Mothers’ Group: you go to Mothers’ Group.

BABY #2

Mothers’ Group? I hate Mothers’ Group! That’s what my mum and friends are for.

Did I miss any?

This article was originally published at adelady.com.au 

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