When I became a mother for the first time, I was so hung up on doing everything ‘by the book’. Looking back, I’m not sure who’s book that actually was, but it certainly wasn’t always mine. As with all new mums, I was given a million pieces of advice – some sought, some not – and it made me second-guess every decision I made. It wasn’t just about whether I thought I was doing what was best for my child, it was also about whether other people thought I was too. Motherhood has been the biggest, hardest and best job of my life, but in those early days I was terrified everyone would think I was failing.
One of the great things about getting older is that the amount of fucks you give about other people’s opinions starts to fall away. Those feelings of being an ‘imposter mum’ are almost all gone now and my older, wiser mantra is one that feels much more comfortable. My kids, my rules. But I still remember the early days….and they were hard.
Motherhood has been the biggest, hardest and best job of my life, but in those early days I was terrified everyone would think I was failing.
If you’re a new mum, or even a seasoned pro who can get lost in the judgement of others, then this post shared by mum-of-two, Ashle Potter, is for you. It isn’t new, but its words are timeless. Print it out and stick it somewhere you’ll see it often to remind yourself that YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB.
“To the mom who’s breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who’s formula feeding: Isn’t science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn’t produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You’re a good mom.
To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mom.
To the disposable diapering mom: Wow those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn’t easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who works: It’s wonderful that you’re sticking to your career, you’re a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it’s fantastic. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you’re too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You’re feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren’t complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a white bag with a big red chick on it. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who gave her kids a home-cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they’re learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can’t run around. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don’t they? We’ve all been through it. You’re a good mom.
To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above?
Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.”
Read it, re-read it, and send it to every mum you know.