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Big Kids, Parenting

Would you let your kid’s boyfriend or girlfriend stay over?

Monty by Monty
March 29th, 2017
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When I was sixteen I was wildly in love for the first time… After years (literally) of trying to razzle and dazzle this hot boy at school, we became an item. I was smitten. All these wild hormones were rushing through my chubby body, all I wanted to do was tongue pash…Hard… and the rest of it. Foul.

I was lucky that my older sister had paved the path for me when it came to boys sleeping over. Her first boyfriend was allowed to sleep over but only in the front room (which was directly opposite mums, so there was no midnight creepin going on). After a couple of years mum cracked under the ‘sleep in the same bed’ pressure and at 18 my sis’ boyfriend was able to slumber in her double bed.

Being the second kid, the rules had relaxed by the time I landed me a man/boy. At sixteen my boyfriend was allowed to sleep over…in my bed.

My mum wasn’t a fool, she knew what was going on behind that closed door, two stinky hormonal teens clumsily navigating their way around each others pubescent bodies. I guess she thought it’s better we explore one another in a safe environment? Eeew.

Now that I am a mum I find it soooo confronting to think of these kind of shenanigans ever happening under my roof. Wow, that sentence just aged me a real 25 years.

My sons are only five and two, so I have at least 11 years before they request a dame share the bed. BUT that is only about 11 more summers, 11 more Christmas’s and 11 more times the Easter bunny will visit. (I’ll be doing an egg hunt for that kid until he is 50, he has no say in it).

It doesn’t feel that long away and it scares me already.

In bed the other night with Sam (my baby daddy) this topic came up. We play the ‘what will we do when’ game in bed quite a lot, it often leads to sleepless nights and the odd debate.

Will we let our son have his girlfriend sleep over… in his bed?

I am in two minds over this. Is it better that they are in a safe environment rather than bonking under a bush at the local gardens? I’m not really sure… I have experienced both and I turned out ok. (TMI?)

I’m sweating just writing about it. I know it’s old school and perhaps even sexist of me, but the other thing that worries me more than my son having a lass sleep over is if one day I have a daughter. I know girls only too well. I used to be one (think I still am?). I know we can be deviants, sexual curious deviants, but also mislead and keen to impress. (I was anyway).

Maybe I will have to compromise with my son when this dreaded question leaves his mouth. He can have his girlfriend sleep over, no worries at all. I will place clean sheets on his bed and she will sleep comfortably in there. And my son will also sleep safe and sound on the floor of my room. With both doors locked.

Who said I was old school?

Where you allowed to sleep at your boyfriend/girlfriends house when you were growing up?

Below is the On The Couch video of Melanie and I chatting about this…

  • Shannon

    Love it! I was allowed to sleep over at my boyfriends house when I was 16. My mum told little white lies to my dad though (‘oh she’s staying at her friends house…again!’). I now have a 14 month old son and, like you, am already fearing him having ‘sleepovers’! Can we avoid the subject until they’re 30?!

  • http://www.showandtellonline.com.au Monty

    YES… lets avoid.. ha M x

  • Bec

    At 21 years old, after dating the same guy for 3 years, I still wasn’t allowed to wear my pyjamas around my boyfriend, let alone be in a bedroom alone with him. Needless to say, I spent most of my days at his parents house.
    I always told myself that when it comes the time, I will be more relaxed about it all and do the whole ‘well, at least they’re not doing it in the back of the car…’ and ‘id rather know where they are…’ Kind of thing.
    Then I had a daughter. And no boy is ever coming near her bedroom. Hahahaha

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