Having a baby rocks your world in almost every single way. It’s exciting and amazing and more than likely the biggest explosion of love you’ll ever encounter. There are, however, other fabulous explosions that come with having a newborn that no one talks about as much; things like the poo explosion. The vomit explosion. The maternal hormone explosion.
All sorts of people come out of the woodwork to offer you plenty of advice when you have a baby, but there’s lots of things people don’t tell you. That’s what we’re here for – to tell you the FIVE things we wish we’d known before we had our babies….
Your washing will never be done. Ever.
Just accept this. You have hit peak washing machine usage and there’s a good chance that you’ll spend more time with your Bosch front loader than you will with your partner. The amount of times you will need to change your baby is actually insane. There is only so much milk, poo, vomit and dribble that a romper can take and that sour, thrown-up milk smell is like the BO of the baby world. If someone offers to do your washing, LET THEM DO IT – there will be a fresh pile of stinky stuff piled up for you in the next few hours anyway, so take all the help you can get. And buy a load of rompers.
Your baby might be, umm…..not as cute as you expected?
Look, I’m just gonna come right out and say it – some babies are ugly. You will think you have just given birth to the world’s most stunning child and then, a few months later when your kid is legitimately cute, you’ll look back at photos and wonder if that little alien in the snaps is actually your baby. We’re always going on about how difficult birth is for mum, but spare a thought for what all those contractions and forceps and busting out of a VERY SMALL hole or incision feels like for a baby. They’re often born bruised, with little cone heads and swollen eyes….and later may develop baby acne and cradle cap. They’ll come round though. I’ve never met a three month old that isn’t totally delicious.
Breastfeeding will make you thirstier than you’ve ever been before.
I’m not talking like, ‘I need a glass of water’ thirsty, I’m talking three days in the Sahara desert-style thirsty. PARCHED is probably a more accurate description really – it’s like an unquenchable thirst that your mouth needs, but your liquid-filled belly just can’t take any more of. Stace is currently in the thick of breastfeeding Mack and swears by aquamamma® to hydrate her bod while it gets about making the liquid gold for her little man. Developed by an Aussie obstetrician, aquamamma® is low in sugar and sodium, contains added folic acid and is an IDEAL beverage to help keep pregnant and breastfeeding mamas happy and hydrated. Where was this stuff when I was breastfeeding??
You will rely on wet wipes more than oxygen
I’m not even exaggerating. If you’re a new mum, you’ll quickly learn that you need multiple packs on the go at once – in your baby bag, at the change table, in your handbag, on the couch. EVERYWHERE. There’s just so much spew and poo going on in that first year that the thought of being able to just wipe it away and dispose of it is pretty miraculous. What did our poor grandmothers do without them? Whoever invented wet wipes deserves to live in a kingdom made of chocolate.
You’ll never be the same again
It’s true. As soon as that baby is in your arms, your life has changed forever. In between night feeds and burping, nappy changes and baths, while you weren’t even noticing, your heart grew five times bigger. Your worry about the future kicked up a few thousand notches and you grew a pair of invisible claws, ready to scratch out the eyes of anyone who dare harm your child. You’re still you of course, just a modified version that is stronger, braver and filled with more love than you ever thought possible. These are all attributes that will serve you well in every aspect of your life, from your career to your ability to show compassion to others. You’re a mother; the truest form of superhero there ever was. And you’ve got your little bundle of pooey, farty, vomity, dribbly goodness to thank for it – and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Nadia Bartel’s little guy Aston had some MAJOR reflux and she talks about it below on our podcast. You can subscribe to our pod here, watch the vids here, and learn how to do the best braid ever here. All bases covered!