When I was fifteen (that in itself explains a lot) my poor mother, at her wits end – cursed me to have five girls, all just like me! I’m sure those of us ‘wild child’ types can imagine just how our poor parents felt in those hair pulling moments of raising stubborn, strong willed children!
Fast forward over ten years and I am now the proud mother of two beautiful, strong willed and stubborn little girls of my own (there will be no more breeding out of fear of my mother’s prophecy coming true).
Now, I will note that of course I am drawing from my own experiences, and I am only a mother to daughters. But I wanted to share my reality of raising girls – something I’m sure a lot of mothers can relate to.
EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE A GIRL YOURSELF, YOU STILL HAVE NFI! I mean, hello I’m female? Surely, I know how to raise girls right?! Err nope. Periods, body hair, boobies, sex – I’m freaking out over here!
IT’S EXPENSIVE AF (BECAUSE I CAN’T HELP MYSELF) GIVE ME ALL THE TUTUS!!! Sorry mothers of boys, but girl’s clothes are WAY FUCKING CUTER!!! Whether it’s little tiny leather mocs, a handmade tutu dress that is in no way appropriate to wear ANYWHERE, or allllll the cat tees – SO. BLOODY. CUTE!!!
THEY VACATE THE WOMB KNOWING WHAT THEY WANT: So here I was, the soon to be mother of daughters thinking that I had a few years to prepare for those teenage years my poor mother almost did not survive, no one mentioned the THREE-nager! Not to mention the second-born who cannot even say a proper word, but can squeal at high pitch when you so rudely disobey her order for the pink cup or choose the wrong outfit to put on her. At just 18 months, she will pull her leopard jacket off the hanger and thrust it at me – girl knows what she wants!!
YOU FEEL IMMENSE PRESSURE: As a mother of daughters, I am so aware of the societal pressures women face – bodyimage being one of the major ones. I’ve now become so much more aware of how I perceive my won body and how it will impact on my girls. Every day, I find myself checking my own thoughts and behaviours in relation to this! I want to be a role model to them and raise strong, confident and self-loving young girls. And of course, that begins with how I see myself.
IT’S A COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP: Oh, the mother-daughter bond – fuck me! No one can make you prouder or push your buttons harder (sometimes at the same time) than a smaller version of yourself! Whether they are 2 or 22!
THEY GET IT FROM THEIR MAMA!! Raising a strong willed, opinionated, boundary pushing daughter? I wonder where on earth they got that from *looks around sheepishly*.
All those times I rolled my eyes at my mother, who to me just “DID NOT UNDERSTAND!” Only to realise now – she understands, she’s been there, she’s just trying to help; she knows best. Sorry MUM!!!
This post was originally published as My Reality Of Raising Girls by Olivia White. You can check out her blog, House of White, here.