WOW! Seriously cannot believe this was us A DECADE AGO! Look at those carefree, natural tan sporting (before solariums got banned clearly) lovers enjoying each others company without a worry in the world!
No idea in years to come they’ll be drafted to the frontline of parenthood, being subjected to inhumane warfare tactics such as extreme sleep deprivation, minefields of Lego at the foot of their bed just waiting to take your foot out and hours upon hours of Disney soundtracks being blasted till your ears bleed.
Having babies sure does shake up your relationships sometimes it can make them and sometimes it can break them! While you think you may have known someone before, having kids can really be an eye opener! They often can change your relationship entirely!
It’s different for everyone I know, but I thought I’d detail some of the ways your relationship can change after kids just for a laugh!
1. You’ll never hate your partner so much as when the baby starts crying at 3am and he’s still FAST ASLEEP after a few jabs to the kidney!
2. Every time your partner walks through the door you’ll be so excited to see him – like a kid at Christmas! Mostly so you can off load spawn and empty your bladder in peace finally!
3. You will talk about poop more in one day than you ever did your entire child free relationship.
4. You will feel guilty that you never put in effort into your appearance, but really “ain’t nobody got time for dat”.
5. You will be so excited for date night, only to crash and be in bed before 9pm and not even care!
6. You will argue over really dumb things and say things you don’t mean in your sleep deprived rage.
7. You will keep a mental tally of who is doing what in the house and with the kids and save that shit for when the arguments get really heated.
8. You will really want to have sex, but your love of sleep will prevail almost every single time.
9. When you do actually get jiggy with it, you’ll be getting straight to the main show – wtf is foreplay when you’re a parent?
10. You will keep a running tally of the number of nappy changes in your mind and declare “your turn” when it’s a REALLY smelly one!
11. The best gift your husband could ever give you is a hot coffee while he holds the baby – flowers and jewelry are a waste of money!
12. You will learn so much about your partner’s core values and upbringing, that properly neither of you knew before.
13. Your partner has never looked as sexy as when he’s wide-mouthed, snoring, asleep with a sick and overtired baby finally asleep in his arms! Or kneeling bathside singing “toot toot chugga chugga big red car” to a tub full of giggling babies!
14. You will mentally draw up divorce papers every time he comes home and says he is “tired” or “had a busy day at work”.
15. You’ll develop a completely different level of love for your partner when you see just how much he loves your children.
16. Having kids is a huge shock to the system, no matter who you are! It can be tough during those early days especially when everyone’s tired and you’re in the trenches.
But it’s good to remember that you’re in the trenches together! And everyone is trying their best – even though it might be hard to see it at the time!
Has your relationship changed after babies?
This piece was originally published at houseofwhite.com.au