Weddings are a big deal. Making that very public declaration of love in front of the people who matter the most to you, be it God, family, or just close mates, can be nerve-wracking, exciting and a little overwhelming for many.
I was very young to marry – engaged at 23 and married at 24 – but I’ll say that the main feeling I had leading up to my wedding was more excitement than anything else. I had just turned 19 when my husband and I started going out and it only took a few months in for me, a girl who historically enjoyed the chase but backed off as soon as the guy showed any real interest, to figure out that my husband was ‘the one.’ Unlike the others, I wanted him after the first pash and 18 years later, we’ve never looked back.
When we were planning our wedding, choosing bridesmaids wasn’t a huge deal. I always knew that I wanted the women who had really meant something to me throughout my life to spend the bulk of the day alongside me. Choosing my sister as my Matron-of-Honour was a no-brainer as she always has and always will be my number one BFF, but I also knew I wanted my sister-in-law, my sister’s best friend who had been like a second sister to me and my own best friend to hang out with me for the day. Looking back, I still wouldn’t change my line-up. We laughed, cried and had a bloody good time together and to me, that’s what a bridal party is all about.
But….did you know you can actually HIRE a bridesmaid? I’m not kidding. Jen Glantz is a PROFESSIONAL ‘Bridesmaid For Hire’ in the U.S, promising to “handle all of the dirty work” for your big day and by “dirty work” Jen means picking up your dress when you have to wee, dancing with your drunk and out-of-control uncle and all the other stuff that your bridesmaids apparently don’t want to deal with. Jen sees her job as being a support to women, not simply a rent-a-friend for the day. She’s a PA of sorts, also offering a “Maid of Honour Undercover” package, where she works in secret with the Maid of Honour and does all the duties the Bride expects of her, but she doesn’t really want to do.
I can’t help but wonder what a bride actually expects from her bridesmaids to warrant hiring a total stranger who costs upwards of $1000 for her services. How high are the expectations, seriously? Part of me feels like I might just be lucky in having had a beautiful group of women to call on when I needed an ear to discuss if having black wedding invitations was a big deal, but apart from that, what else do they need to do? Get prettied up, pose for some pics and spend a day partying with you doesn’t really sound like “work” to me. How high maintenance are these brides?
Looking back on your wedding snaps and being surrounded by your friends and oh yeah, that stranger you hired, sounds a little icky to me. Weddings are so personal that the thought of hiring anyone to share in the most intimate moments is a strange one. Wedding planners are there to help you with the logistical stuff so if you can afford it, I’d say that’s a way better option. But when choosing the people to spend the ins and outs of your special day with you, I’d say go with your heart, not your wallet, every time.
If you’ve got an uncle who’s out-of-control and renowned for getting a bit handsy on the d-floor, don’t invite him. Have the wedding YOU want, without the need to impress everyone in sight and if you feel you need to hire someone to lighten the load for your bridesmaids, I’d ask how big are the expectations you’re putting on them? If your bridesmaids don’t want to hold up your dress when you need to piss, or are making you feel like taking a day out of their life to hang with you is too big a deal, then maybe ditch them all together I say. Who even says you need to have a bridal party anyway?
Would you ever consider hiring a bridesmaid?