Health, Beauty + Style, What's On Our Mind

I had a baby 8 weeks ago and I’m sick of hating on my body!

Monty by Monty
September 29th, 2014

I had my second baby eight weeks ago. A beautiful, healthy, delicious little boy called Arlo.

My days and nights are currently being consumed by filling up my bebe’s constantly ravenous tummy, sculling multiple cups of coffee to keep my lids open and ensuring my nearly 3 year old is still feeling the love.

My boys

My boys

My world is very busy at the moment, I barely have time to scratch my derierre (not that it gets itchy often), however even though my head is burried deep in the newness of being a mum of two, my mind is still finding time to wonder. I’m embarrassed, annoyed, and a little upset to admit that a lot of my thoughts, more than I care to admit, are about my body. My internal dialogue isn’t always nice and nurturing or giving me a high five for just having had a kid that’s for sure.

I have had a love/hate relationship with my body for as long as I can remember. In my late teens/early twenties I abused it by depriving it of food and then shovelling it down in ludicrous amounts. I spent hours picking out what I didn’t like about my body and comparing myself to every girl I set my eyes on.

As I’ve got older (and oh so much wiser), I have eased up on the body hate. I’m now able to look at my legs and on occasion think they look bloody hot, I don’t feel so self conscious in the nude and if someone says I look good, I can take the compliment and actually believe them. Even though I am not as cruel to myself as I have been in the past; my internal thoughts about my body can still be really vicious.

Since having two babies, my body has obviously changed. My boobs are two different sizes and my nipples look like big ass man thumbs, my hips are wider and my tummy a lot softer. I know this is a teeny weeny pay off for having two rad little humans, but sometimes that is hard to remember.

The other day while trying to unsuccessfully squeeze into my old jeans, I realised just how unkind I am being to myself. I knew deep down that they were not going to fit me, but I still tried them on, and of course felt horrible after it.  I knew the outcome before it happened, but I did it anyway and proved my nasty and totally bitchy thoughts right. I have been doing little things like this a fair bit lately, such as looking in the mirror when I get out of the shower and literally screwing my face up, not liking what I see at all.  I have found myself comparing my body to others who have just had babies which is completely unkind to me and the other woman.

Over the years I’ve spent WAY too much time obsessing over my body. I have come a long way in accepting and appreciating it  but I still have a long way to go. I just need to be a little dam kinder to myself and be proud of what my mamma gave me. I know it isn’t always going to be easy and I’ll have to catch my negative thoughts a hundred times a day, but enough is enough. I know I’m not alone in my thoughts ladies, so let’s do this together. Let’s remind ourselves and our fellow dames to just be a little bloody kinder to ourselves. It’s exhausting and such a waste of time to hate on ourselves so much.

My little sister sent me this clip the other day and although it is a little cheesy it really resonated with me. Take a minute to watch it and share it with a fabulous broad who you know is a little down on themselves.

This is how the vid came about if you are interested in having a look…

  • laura

    Argh yes we punish ourselves and forget our body just grew a baby. We all do it…even the more genetically blessed do it. It’s putting the pressure on ourselves aswell to get back into shape when we are so time poor with a little baby…not to mention the other kids so we feel guilty for not being able to exercise and look hot for our partners and ourselves. ..well that’s how I feel. When I do have hands free the last thing I feel like doing is squats and lunges! Plus the breastfeeding appetite doesn’t help. The only pressure is in our own heads I think.

  • Robyn

    Oh Monty – I hear you, this could have been written by me! My second son was born almost 5 months ago, and like you my other boy is almost 3 years old. I lost a lot of weight the first time through breastfeeding – about 10kg less than my pre-baby weight and taking me down to a size 6, the smallest I’ve ever been in my adult life. I relished how easy it was to lose weight, and I felt that amongst the chaos of parenthood, this was the one thing I could really control. So second time around, I set some pretty high expectations on myself and am finding it really tough to understand why it’s not happening as fast as I want it to, and why my body feels and looks so different – I’m not in control and not coping well with it.

    I remember the day I came home from hospital a few months ago, 2 days after giving birth. I was about to get in the shower and stood naked in front of the mirror and cried to my husband about how my body looked like a ‘before photo’ – so silly! In the following weeks I’ve self-sabotaged too by trying on my old skinny jeans and crying when I can’t get them done up. Ugh!

    Just yesterday I was in the fitting room at David Jones and was really uncomfortable with my reflection, so stupid because I remember that I’ve now got two absolutely gorgeous, healthy and happy boys. As I said before, I think it’s a control thing for me (or lack thereof!). I’m so glad I’m not alone in my thoughts Monty, and neither are you. Thank you so much for writing this xx

  • Monty

    Hey Robyn, It’s so frustrating to rationally know how incredible our bodies are for growing babies but not feeling that all the time. Don’t jump on the scales EVER. It is so destructive and gives you false happiness or anger. And let’s not look in the mirror when we are feeling rotten. Little things like this may help. ill do it if you do. PS- congrats on your new little one. Five months is such a heavenly age. Loads of love to you and by no means are you alone. The sad thing is we are the majority. xxx M

  • Monty

    We put ALL the pressure on ourselves. We would not be so cruel to anyone else the way we are to ourselves. Seriously, its bloody exhausting isnt it. M xx