I had my second baby eight weeks ago. A beautiful, healthy, delicious little boy called Arlo.
My days and nights are currently being consumed by filling up my bebe’s constantly ravenous tummy, sculling multiple cups of coffee to keep my lids open and ensuring my nearly 3 year old is still feeling the love.
My world is very busy at the moment, I barely have time to scratch my derierre (not that it gets itchy often), however even though my head is burried deep in the newness of being a mum of two, my mind is still finding time to wonder. I’m embarrassed, annoyed, and a little upset to admit that a lot of my thoughts, more than I care to admit, are about my body. My internal dialogue isn’t always nice and nurturing or giving me a high five for just having had a kid that’s for sure.
I have had a love/hate relationship with my body for as long as I can remember. In my late teens/early twenties I abused it by depriving it of food and then shovelling it down in ludicrous amounts. I spent hours picking out what I didn’t like about my body and comparing myself to every girl I set my eyes on.
As I’ve got older (and oh so much wiser), I have eased up on the body hate. I’m now able to look at my legs and on occasion think they look bloody hot, I don’t feel so self conscious in the nude and if someone says I look good, I can take the compliment and actually believe them. Even though I am not as cruel to myself as I have been in the past; my internal thoughts about my body can still be really vicious.
Since having two babies, my body has obviously changed. My boobs are two different sizes and my nipples look like big ass man thumbs, my hips are wider and my tummy a lot softer. I know this is a teeny weeny pay off for having two rad little humans, but sometimes that is hard to remember.
The other day while trying to unsuccessfully squeeze into my old jeans, I realised just how unkind I am being to myself. I knew deep down that they were not going to fit me, but I still tried them on, and of course felt horrible after it. I knew the outcome before it happened, but I did it anyway and proved my nasty and totally bitchy thoughts right. I have been doing little things like this a fair bit lately, such as looking in the mirror when I get out of the shower and literally screwing my face up, not liking what I see at all. I have found myself comparing my body to others who have just had babies which is completely unkind to me and the other woman.
Over the years I’ve spent WAY too much time obsessing over my body. I have come a long way in accepting and appreciating it but I still have a long way to go. I just need to be a little dam kinder to myself and be proud of what my mamma gave me. I know it isn’t always going to be easy and I’ll have to catch my negative thoughts a hundred times a day, but enough is enough. I know I’m not alone in my thoughts ladies, so let’s do this together. Let’s remind ourselves and our fellow dames to just be a little bloody kinder to ourselves. It’s exhausting and such a waste of time to hate on ourselves so much.
My little sister sent me this clip the other day and although it is a little cheesy it really resonated with me. Take a minute to watch it and share it with a fabulous broad who you know is a little down on themselves.
This is how the vid came about if you are interested in having a look…