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Health, Beauty + Style, Parenting, What's On Our Mind

It’s time everyone learnt to lie to pregnant women

Stacey by Stacey
March 26th, 2014
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Let me just start by saying that in life, I am certainly not small and definitely not petite. I would more often probably be described as ‘sporty’ so it’s no surprise to me that I carry a good size bump when I’m pregnant…but apparently it’s a massive surprise to everyone else.

Apart from the fact that I eat McDonald’s once a week, white bread toasted cheese sandwiches’, magnum’s and Cadbury chocolate blocks on a weekly basis (or daily…shhh) I really don’t think there is much I can do about how I carry a baby bump. So, why do people feel the need to tell me it’s abnormally large AND especially coming from people who have had their own kids and should know better right?

I have had two kids and am now pregnant with number three and ALL THREE TIMES the comments about my size came at me thick and fast. I took them with a grain of salt, but was and still are just a tad shocked that people think it’s okay to say these types of things to me or any other preggo out there. We wouldn’t comment on someones weight if they weren’t pregnant so why all of a sudden when we become pregnant do people feel like it’s free reign to comment?

Here are five things that are CONSTANTLY said to me at the moment that I believe should NEVER be said to a pregnant woman.

My two babes - Raff and Jarvie.

My two babes – Raff and Jarvie.

“Wow, are you sure they got your due date right?”

“I almost didn’t recognise you”

“Are you sure you’re not having twins”

“You’re massive” or “that thing is BIG”

“You don’t look at all what I expected you to look like when you’re pregnant”

I mean, SERIOUSLY? Of course the docs had my bloody due date right, and YES I would have know if I was having twins and the real ripper in all this is “I almost didn’t recognise you”…really?  That’s just, well…seriously, I’m speechless!

After all of my pregnancy experiences (I have 11 weeks to go) I will pledge right here right now that I will never comment on how another woman carries her bambino EVER– unless it’s gorgeously positive of course.

The bottom line is that we all need to learn to lie to a pregnant woman. They are about to push a baby out, are incredibly uncomfortable and their hormones are going a little bonkers. So please, if you see a pregnant lady on the street tell them they look like a babe (and god forbid if you ever see me pregnant again, just run the other way). Even if you’re lying it will make that woman very happy.

Did people comment on your body when you were pregnant? What did they say?

  • Melissa

    You DO look like a babe! Baby belly + great legs = perfect combo. Keep growing xxx

  • Jane T

    I’d just like to say that I 100% agree with this column. My second bub is due in 2.5 weeks and I do have a very big bump. But I am aware of it and I don’t really want people to remind me. It was the same with my first baby and because I am a short woman my bubba bumps are always far out the front from an early stage- there’s just nowhere else for bub to go with my short torso. In my pregnancies I have been repeatedly asked if I am having twins (or even triplets), been told that it’s a huge bump, been asked if I’m due right now (with months to go), asked if my due date is right and advised (by strangers) that clearly I am having a huge baby (like my obstetrician might have failed to notice the size).
    The only things that this can translate to for a pregnant woman are 1.) ‘you look fat’… I know, I’m pregnant- I have another human inside me. Or 2.) You’re having a huge baby… which no pregnant woman wants to think in too much detail about- she has to give birth to it after all.
    It’s my considered opinion that the only things people should ever say to pregnant women are ‘you look gorgeous’, ‘you’re doing a great job’, or ‘how are you feeling?’… I can’t believe how many people comment on how big the bump is. I’ve even had friends feel uncomfortable being told their bump is too small… like they aren’t doing a good job nurturing the bub in their womb!
    Enough with the size comments people! Have a little common sense and empathy and just arm yourself with a few positive comments like ‘you look wonderful’, it’ll make all the difference to the mum-to-be.
    PS- Stacey, I bet you look delicious! Keep up the good work!

  • Cork75

    Why do pregnant women feel the need to whine so much? About anything. Obviously you have contributed to your size by way of diet listed above and then you get upset when people say you are big? Well you must be if so many people are saying it, so why whinge about it.

  • Theresa Bounds

    I only have 1 child and she is 19 years old. The one thing that I can remember … The ONE Comment that stuck in my mind … The ONE sentence that I will NEVER forget was “You wobble like a Penguin”. What is the Point of Saying That?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I’m 4Feet11Inches Tall … I Have a Very Small Frame and I Have a Baby growing in My Belly … What Does it Matter if I Walk Like a “Penguin”? I was just Happy that I was even walking at all (lol). I remember Giggling when it was said to Me and I can even remember where I was when it was said to Me (shopping at Sams Club). I remember saying things to women, while they were pregnant (never, ever anything mean) but after carrying my child and things being said and questions that others asked me … I’ve learned to just Smile and say how “Beautiful” They look and how “Happy” I am for them