Celebrity, Entertainment, Popular Stuff

Do you think a peen bulge is a little attractive?

Melissa Imbesi by Melissa Imbesi
December 8th, 2019

In case you missed the very, VERY big news this week, Jason Derulo, the man whose fave pastime is singing his own name in his songs, is packing a lot in the eggplant department. If you haven’t seen the pics yet, allow us to share…

Oh.

my.

god.

Yikes. Impressive, but also… a bit scary. A bit, ouchy.

It’s always amused me how caught up some guys (and let’s be fair, some women too) get over the size of a dick, with a JD-style trouser snake held up as the gold standard of cocks. I can only speak for myself here, but I’ve never understood the appeal of a giant peen. I mean, our love tunnels are only so big, so what do you do with.. the rest? Perhaps I’m in the minority here, but if a pork sword the size of Jason Derulo’s came at me in full flight, I’d probably cross my legs tighter than his shorty shorts.

Sounds a bit discriminatory, I know. After all, there’s nothing Jay can do about his giant penis, same as there’s not much I can do about my big boobs or hips. It’s just where our bodies carry the fat. Punny pun pun intended.

JD was super annoyed when the overloads at Insta got wind of the pic and took it down, citing that his post “goes against our community guidelines on nudity and sexual activity.” Perhaps Insta couldn’t believe the claim that Jason’s peen wasn’t, for want of a better term, ‘on a flop’ in this pic, however Jase has since cleared that up. “An arousal looks different. It’s a different vibe. When it’s fully aroused, it’s a different beast,” he said.

Holy hell.

In retaliation, yesterday Jason reposted the pic with what looks like a footlong Subway sanga covering his bits as a big middle finger to the ‘gram…

View this post on Instagram

Is this better? 😂

A post shared by Jason Derulo (@jasonderulo) on

I guess when we flip the tables a little, I can’t see how Jason Derulo’s thirst-trap of a post is any different to say, Kimmy K’s in the one below, where her nether regions are almost totally on display.

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4.30 KKWFRAGRANCE.COM @kkwfragrance Courtesy of Pio Pico

A post shared by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on

I’m not sure where we draw the line on what’s acceptable and what’s not, but I do know that I’ll never, ever hear a Jason Derulo song in the same way again. Speaking of which, please enjoy this mash-up of Jason doing what he does best… singing his own name.

We spoke about the peen of the decade on our latest ep of Show+Telling, and here are our thoughts…

Want more? You can hear the rest of that ep below and subscribe here so you never miss a thing!

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