Beauty, Lifestyle

Got curly hair? Here’s nine things you’ll relate to

Melissa Imbesi by Melissa Imbesi
October 18th, 2016

Curly hair is gorgeous. As someone with really, REALLY curly hair, I also know that to get it to look good takes time, the right products and let’s be honest here, luck. Curly hair can be a temperamental mole and can go from awesome to disaster in a heartbeat.

I rarely wear my hair curly anymore because a) after chopping it off it’s just too short and leaves me looking like a mushroom-head and b) it’s just easier when it’s straight. I do miss my curls though and I’m on a hair-growing mission so I can have the option of wearing my big, frizzy, crazy curls again. If you’re a fellow curly lady, you’re sure to identify with this list of the things that only girls with curls will understand.

The weather can be your best friend or your worst enemy: Simply put, the weather app is a lifeline for curly-haired girls. Humidity and rain are the frizz-inducing devil and I’m not joking when I say that I’ve been known to put a plastic bag on top of my head IN PUBLIC when the heavens have opened.  The only thing worse than getting caught in the rain (without a Pina Colada) with curly hair is if you have straightened it, to which there is NO coming back from. It’s time to go home…

Hair brush = Hahaaaaaaa: The only time you brush your hair is when it’s soaking wet. With a shit load of conditioner in it. I know, and you know, that brushing your curly hair can only go one way….

curly hair

‘Brushing Curly Hair’: A True Story….

Carrie Bradshaw and Elaine Benes were your hair heroes: Finally!! How glorious to see your hair looking back at you on TV, even if it was usually tonged to perfection. Carrie and Elaine made straight-haired girls long for the curls and that made you very happy. Extra credit went to eps of Sex and the City when Carrie’s hair was especially frizzy and REAL.

Speaking of which…..

Don’t cut your hair: Generally speaking, the longer the better if your hair is super curly. It needs the weight to drag it down. Case in point…

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Carrie went the post break-up chop after Aidan.

You buy conditioner in bulk: The ‘coin-sized’ amount they tell you to use? Laughable. More is more when it comes to conditioner for curly hair as it provides one of the only opportunities to actually brush through your mop.  Just when you think you’ve used enough, add more. It’ll suck that shit up in no time.

Curly hair is a temperamental mole and can go from awesome to disaster in a heartbeat.

Hair ties are a necessity: I challenge you to find a gal with natural curls who is EVER without a hair tie on her wrist. Once you’ve committed to throwing your bouffant up, you ain’t taking it down because it’s going to look crap if you do. It’s just the law.

Before flat irons were invented, you literally IRONED your hair: With an iron and ironing board. Back in the day, you pulled out the big guns on special occasions and committed to leaning over an ironing board while your sister or friend ironed over your hair like it was a t-shirt. You couldn’t get close into the roots because, you know, a burn to the skull fucking hurts, so you always had some weird curly/frizzy root situation going on. Regardless, you felt like a bloody goddess.

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Kids today will never understand the struggle

“People pay lots of money to have hair like yours”: Yeah, maybe in the 80’s. You want to punch anyone who utters these words to you in the face. Hard.

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If you put your hand in there, it would never be seen again

Any activity involving water gives you hair anxiety: Beaches, swimming pools and water parks are disastrous. You’ve either got to throw your hair up in a bun and not let it get wet or pack a BIG hat to hide under because once your curls are wet and you are left without a diffuser to get them back into shape, it’s hair pube city.

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Great 80’s movie, great 80’s hair.

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