My husband once claimed (and maintains to this day) that following a severe bout of constipation, he did a poo that was comparable in pain to childbirth. Many years ago, before children, I would wince in pain at this story. A poo that big?? The poor thing, that must have hurt like hell.
Years later, in the labour ward delivering our daughter with no pain relief and a ventouse (or vacuum) inside my vagina trying to suction her head out, I thought about that poo. I thought about that poo when she was crowning and my obstetrician told me try and focus on pushing, not screaming. I also thought about that poo when he was placing a stitch in my vagina that had just been through a torment of its own, and when I walked around with an ice pack in my pants to calm the cherry-sized haemorrhoid I’d earned as a result of pushing.
And I wanted to kill him.
For any of you that want to see a man get a small taste of the pain of childbirth, get him to watch this vid from The Try Guys. It’ll put a big, BIG smile on your face, I promise.
It has now become my mission in life to get my hands on this machine to test out my husband’s poo / childbirth comparison theory. And I’ll be there, holding his hand, wiping the sweat from his brow, whispering words of encouragement……and laughing my ass off on the inside.
How do you think your man would handle childbirth?
Have you heard our podcast with the fab Sarah Harris? She has the BEST labour story we’ve ever heard. Get it in your ears below, then come hang with us in podcast land here.