I am the one, in the statistic of one in four women who will miscarry.
About four years ago when I was just over six weeks pregnant, I started to bleed. I called a friend of mine who had miscarried in the past and told her what was happening. I broke down to her on the phone because I was scared. I asked her if I was miscarrying and she gently tried to protect me and reassure me that it might not be, but she knew and I knew what was happening.
Over the next 24 hours the possibility of our next and very much wanted family member left my body.
I was sad but not devastated. My partner Sam asked if we should talk about it, but I didn’t feel like I needed to. I had a 2 year old and I knew my body could fall pregnant again so although I was sad, I moved on quickly.
I only knew I was pregnant that time for about a week, but that was long enough to fantasize about what our life would look like when our new baby arrived.
It is a funny things that as soon as I know someone has miscarried I feel instantly connected to them. Although our experience always differ, there is a connection because of what we have been through. It can be a lonely thing to go through, so knowing other people understand makes a huge difference.
I feel so privileged to be able to chat to so many women in a very relaxed and honest way in our On The Couch interviews. The amount of women that have opened up to me about their miscarriages has been over whelming. Every story different but heartbreaking.
There is an Instagram account started by an American Psychologist who specialised in women’s reproduction and maternal mental health called “I Had A Miscarriage”.
Jessica spent most of her career counselling women after misaccariage but didnt understand the grief and loss to the full extent until she lost her daughter at 16 weeks in 2012.
Jessica miscarried at home and she delivered her baby alone. She had to cut the cord before she began haemorraging. Jessica’s husband rushed her to hospital where she had to have the placenta and remnants of the pregnancy removed.
Jessica has started the instagram account and hashtag to help other women. She welcomes anyone to to contribute to the Instagram page and her the hashtag.
Here are some of the women who have shared.
Here are some On The Couch chats with beautiful women who have been through a miscarriage. I hope if you are the one in four as well, you get some comfort from these.
Tara Moss talks about the ‘toxic silence’ around miscarriage and how it effects women. Get this fab chat into your ears in pod form below, then subscribe to our podcast here for more goodness.