Babies, Parenting

Never would you think a baby could do this…

Stacey by Stacey
September 29th, 2018

This piece is brought to you by *Little Ones Nappies but is 100% my own glamorous story. M x 

I’ll never forget when I learnt about a ‘Number Three’. I was a blissfully naive new Mum who was wrapped up in a delicious baby bubble that consisted of sniffing a tiny head and being milked like a cow.

Amongst the eye-stinging exhaustion and head inhaling, I was feeling pretty darn smug that I had managed to keep my mini human alive for two whole weeks AND venture out of the front door to stroll 200m to the local café to get a coffee and 64 donuts.

As we entered the café I quickly realized that I was surrounded by a gaggle of middle-aged broads who had just been for a spot of tennis. They were well out of newborn land and I could hear their noses crinkle with revolt as I strolled past them with two big wet patches over my teats and a squawking baby in my arms that was red with rage.

As I searched for coins in my jacket pocket, I heard a noise that sounded like the seas parting. I looked down at my son’s face and tried to compute if that monstrous noise had somehow escaped his body.

And that is the exact moment I learnt what a ‘Number Three’ was. My teensy, perfect son had blown something out of his derrière at record speed. In microseconds, he was covered from bum to neck in his own mustard coloured excrement, that immediately made me gag but also kinda intrigued. How could such a tiny thing take such a monumental…poo.

At that moment I felt like a bonafide mum. With my eyes throbbing from two full minutes of sleep in the last 14 days, I took my turd covered baby and double shot almond latte out of the café and strolled home.

I pried the poo soaked onesie from my baby, chucked the duds straight in the bin and jumped in the shower to scrub his breakfast, lunch, and dinner from our bodies.

That is the first and last time I left the house without a baby bag jam-packed with nappies, wipes and 23 onesies. That was also the first of many, many ‘Number Three’s’. What a welcome to motherhood.

* Little One’s nappies are the bee’s knees.  They’re firm and secure which will help to minimise any form of a ‘Number Three’. The patterns are also bloody cute and did I mention they are as cheap as a double shot almond latte, possibly even cheaper and their absorbency, leakage protection, and fit are second to none.

You can buy bulk packs for ten buck and wipes for 2 bucks. Yep, so good! And…just an FYI the wipes just won the Canster award for the bestest wipes two years in a row. They’re every bit as ace as you would think. We promise.

To purchase Little Ones nappies you can go in store to Woolworths or purchase online here. 

These baby wipes are the bee’s knees (and the ones that keep winning awards)