Being a mum is the best thing ever, kids are so cute and funny bla bla yadda yadda, but it can also be a big ass slog. It’s hard work and sometimes there is nothing I need more than some advice from my friends, or my mum, on how to handle a tricky little stage the ratbags are going through. I’m the first to put my hand up when I am in struggle town and have no idea! If I ask, please, lay the advice on me thick and fast and keep it coming ‘til I climb down from the roof.
Having said that, the thing that grinds my gear in a big old nasty way is UNSOLICITED ADVICE! Are we still doing this? Really? We should not be. Enough. I’m yet to meet someone who enjoys advice they didn’t ask for, especially in the parenting domain.
Over my four years as a ‘mum’, I’ve been a little shocked at how much unsolicited advice other mum’s have given me. From day one the advice came at me from every angle because breastfeeding was as natural to me as doing origami in the dark with a blind fold on – I realise that analogy makes little sense, but breastfeeding didn’t make any sense to me either so roll with it.
From the first time my bub attached it was agony. I had mastitis around 94 times and didn’t find a groove with it for around 6 months – yes I crazily persisted. I was tired and delusional.
For some reason the way I fed, how to ice or cabbage my tatas was everyone business. And ALL the advice was different and contradicted the other. It was more painful that my engorged lumpy teets.
One of my best mates is pregnant with her first babe and we recently celebrated her impending arrival with a baby shower, which really translates to bring shit loads of gifts and we can eat cake. (She cleaned up at the party). On the day though, I could see her little eyes boggle as she was lathered in advice. Of course the advice was delivered with love and affection but it was toooooo much.
Parenting is like fingerprints and on that day became so apparent. I realised, although we’re all close friends, we all have different views, opinions and even ways of swaddling a baby ‘the right way’. From that day on (which was only a week ago) I have vowed to be extra conscious not to spill out advice unless asked. It has to be our duty as mums to keep our opinions and advice for those who desire to hear. And at the end of the day, that may just be your own ears.
Did you get any unwanted parenting advice?