I’m not sure about you, but when I was pregnant I felt every inch of it in my being. I was BIGGGGG, clumsy, clunky, sick, sore and to put it bluntly, in that last month, the intense pressure sorta felt like my arsehole was going to fall out of my body.
We’ve all heard those stories about people who didn’t know they were pregnant until they were squatting over a toilet bowl in the throes of what they probably thought was the most intense shit of their lives and then POOF! Out comes a baby. Because I’ve never actually known anyone this has happened to, I’ve always thought of these stories as a bit more urban legend than real deal. I mean, how can you possibly not know you are pregnant?
Well, turns out it’s absolutely for real. An expectant (or technically, non-expectant) mum in New Zealand has made it to 36 WEEKS pregnant before realising she was growing a fully-formed human in her belly. The kicker was, literally, a little kicker – she only twigged when she felt movement in her tum that assumedly felt way more intense than wind pain from holding your farts in all day.
According to this mama’s account on Facebook, “My periods were all still normal, I felt this massive movement one night in my tummy and [knew] straight away.
“The next day I woke up with a little bump, took a test and hello!
“Obviously, I didn’t think I was going to be 36 weeks! I found out at 24 weeks with my first!
“Yes, one hell of a shock. She is finally starting to show off and make me look pregnant.”
Wow. I mean, I look pretty convincingly pregnant after a bowl of pasta, so it’s pretty incredible that for eight months, there was no noticeable change in this woman’s bod. Can you even IMAGINE what a shock that would be?
And the more I dig, the more stories I find. In February of 2016, teenager Emma Crofts-Wilson (also from NZ) had no symptoms other than lower back and abdominal pain the night before she found herself pushing out daughter Hanna-Marie on the kitchen floor. “I didn’t know what was happening. I just felt a stinging feeling and when I looked down I saw a head.” Seven minutes of pushing and a snip of the umbilical cord with some kitchen scissors – and Emma became a young mum. Emma had irregular periods and looking back, a disinterest in alcohol and appetite for KFC were the only tell tale signs.
UK teenager Charlotte Thompson remained a size 8 up until the moment she went to hospital with bleeding and stomach cramps before the doctors told her she was about to deliver her baby girl, Molly, in 2015. Charlotte reported that she had regular periods through her entire pregnancy and a completely flat stomach. Her only symptom was fatigue, which she put down to her lifestyle.
And then, there’s 21-year-old Beth Bamford, who also continued having regular periods and put her slight weight gain down to ‘fat’ before a surprise visit to the toilet during the night in February found her delivering TWIN girls, Willow and Freya, on the bathroom floor. Freya was also in the breech position (feet first) when delivered. Beth reported that she visited the doctor a couple of times because she was feeling ‘ill’ but no one suspected pregnancy.
So how the hell does this happen? According to Jena Pincott’s article published in the Huffington Post, ‘Cryptic Pregnancies’ are actually WAY more common that you’d think, with one in 450 pregnancies undetected until around the 20 week mark and one in 2500 unknown until LABOUR is underway.
With Cryptic Pregnancies, women can mistake spotting for light periods or just have irregular periods all the time so don’t notice a massive change when their period doesn’t show up. There’s also the positioning of the baby and it’s size that may not result in a typically pregnant-looking stomach. Some women also believe they’re infertile due to conditions such as PCOS, so don’t suspect pregnancy or in some cases, the baby emits such low levels of the pregnancy hormone hCG that a test doesn’t pick it up.
I don’t know about you, but this has turned my pregnancy paranoia up to 10. But gee whiz, what an awesome story to tell the grandkids!
Aussie actress Colette Mann was four and a half months pregnant when she discovered she was carrying her first son and she talks about it On the Couch with Monty below.
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