Motherhood, Parenting

Are you a single mum or know one?

Carla McConnell by Carla McConnell
October 20th, 2016

I am a single mum of two beautiful girls. Being a single mum was not something I dreamed of becoming, but shit happens and I ended up here. Whenever I tell someone that I am a single mum I get that look of pity. I have many single mum friends and of the many things they are, to be pitied is not one of them.

These women are goddesses, warriors, queens. They know how to balance a budget, work and look after a home, cope with a crisis and change a light globe. Seriously if you need something done ask a single mother because these chicks know how to do everything.

All my single mum friends have ended their relationships for different reasons and in different ways, but most of them have civil and constructive relationships with their ex’s. They aren’t parenting alone they are co-parenting and as difficult as that can be, because let’s face it dealing with your ex for the rest of your life isn’t really on anyone’s agenda, they make it work and so do I.

single mums

I am separated from the father of my children but I am not doing this alone. He is still very much in his children’s lives. In fact this morning as he picked up the kids I mentioned that I had a heap of work on and could he buy my daughter’s birthday presents, get the girl’s hair cut and take them to the dentist. If our kid’s have a crisis, or a school event or need to be disciplined, we talk it through and work out what to do.

Yes there are single mums out there doing it all alone and tough, but there are also people in relationships doing it alone and tough. I go through challenges everyday but so do my friends with partners, and my single friends without kids. I feel like when someone looks at me with pity they are not really understanding my life.

I have chosen to have a friendly co-parenting relationship with my ex rather than stay in a romantic relationship that wasn’t working. I have made a happier life for myself and for my kids. I don’t want people to think that I have failed because I don’t feel like I have failed. I’ve made sacrifices and hard choices but don’t we all? My kids and I have friends, and family and heaps of loving supportive people around us. I think we are really lucky.

Plus I get two full child free days a week and as much as I love my kids they are the BEST.

Here Lindy Klim talks about why she doesn’t want people to think she’s doing it tough just because she is a single mum.