Babies, Motherhood, Parenting

I’m pregnant AGAIN…and I feel really guilty about it.

Stacey by Stacey
October 11th, 2016

This piece is sponsored by SmarTrike but is 100% my thoughts and feelings.

My son Raff was three years old when I fell pregnant with our second child. The moment we found out the awesome news, I was hit with a cocktail of emotions. Naturally, I was beyond stoked we were adding to our brood but then I also felt an overwhelming mourning feeling. It had been Raff and I for so long. We hung out all day, everyday. He was my little mate who was always by my side and I knew that in nine months time that would change.

Stacey with Raff 2 weeks before babe #2 arrived.

Stacey with Raff 2 weeks before babe #2 arrived.

When baby number two, Jarvie, was ready to be born, I vividly remember looking at my son Raff before I left home. He looked so little and beautiful and I shed a tear and felt so guilty for leaving him. I was sad that he wasn’t going to have me all to himself anymore, and also scared he might think he was being ‘left behind.’ I pictured returning and things being different and him wondering what happened to his mum that had all the time in the world for him…who was extremely patient and always available. Was he going to think I didn’t love him as much?

I know it sounds silly – and in hindsight he transitioned as well as any three year old would. But I didn’t. It took me months to rid that guilt. It hurt when I had to tell him to wait until I finished feeding the baby to play, or no I can’t cuddle you because the baby needs me, or Daddy has to take you to the park because mum can’t right now.

My heart felt like it was breaking every time I looked at him. I even had moments of wishing I hadn’t forced change upon our ‘perfect’ little situation and it appears I’m not alone. After hosting an incredible event with SmarTrike a few days ago that was focussed on eradicating parenthood guilt we quickly realised this topic was one of the most talked about common reasons parents feel guilt. Among this topic was the simple day-to-day guilt we all feel – it could be something as simple as what we fed our kids for breakfast, how much screen time they have and how much time we spend being ‘present’ playing with our kids. The truth is, throughout each and every day there are constant pings of guilt that find its way into our parenting lives…

After talking with so many wonderful parents the one thing we all agreed on was that the guilt of having more children fades away and we very quickly couldn’t imagine our family’s without that extra mini human running around. I know for me, I will never forget that last little hug I had with my eldest before he became a big brother.

A pic of all the gorgeous kids and mums at the SmarTrike event.

A pic of all the gorgeous kids and mums at the SmarTrike event.

Now, as I enter the second trimester for baby number three (yes I said THREE! God help me…) I can feel similar feelings arising.  I love my little family of four but also feel extremely lucky and excited for babe number three to enter our clan.  I know the best gift I can give my kids is another partner in crime that will love them forever and that alone is enough to rid me of the guilt that rears it’s ugly little head every now and then. As for the day-to-day guilt that enters our forever spinning minds – we all agreed we need to just ‘let it go’ and be a little kinder to ourselves.

And PS…the entire Show+Tell team have used SmarTrikes with all of their kids to assist us in promoting motorskill development and independence. And let’s be honest, any extra independence is a bloody good thing. And if your kids are as angry at the pram as ours are this is one step further in saving your sanity while you’re zooming around the street.

* SmarTrike’s trikes have loads of developmental benefits and are designed to foster learning and development of children between ages 10-36 months. SmarTrike’s are also perfect for outdoor adventures.

The latest innovation is the Explorer 5-in-1, which transforms in five different ways with your child. It fosters confidence and motor skills until your child is ready to transition into riding a bike or scooter on their own. Check out more here.