Babies, Parenting, Popular Stuff

The top 20 bogan baby names for 2019 are in!

Melissa Imbesi by Melissa Imbesi
October 23rd, 2019

You know how people hang for big holidays like Christmas? Easter? Birthdays? Yeah, well there’s one day every year that I hang out for more than all those big holidays… and friends, today is that day. The annual bogan baby name list for 2019 has been released and flamin’ hell Ailsa, this year’s top 20 is a bloody cracker!

Kidspot revealed the list of very real and very um, confronting, list of names today and if one thing’s for sure, Kath and Kim would definitely approve. Like most years, the bogan factor often comes in the spelling of the name rather than the name itself, as well as in the highly yobbo combo-name. Think Kendrew (Kenneth + Andrew) from 2017.

So grab yourself a VB, whack on the cricket, and prepare to be dazzled…

DA GIRLS:

Starlette – is that you?
Image: Cranbourne Star

  1. Anomaly – Look it up peeps. This is just cruel.
  2. Antwohnette – ‘Cos Antoinette is just so… dull. The ‘w’ and ‘h’ in particular really give it somefink extra special, dontchya fink?
  3. Charmayanne – Looks like mum and dad had a big night on the turps when picking this hybrid gem.
  4. Panda – Nope.
  5. Sianna-Marrie – The extra R in Marrie? Changing Sienna to Sianna? The hyphen? 1000 bogan points.
  6. SnowdropFrozen goes bogan.
  7. Starlette – Could it be a tribute to the 90’s hatchback, the Toyota Starlet? A nod to babe’s place of conception maybe?
  8. Velvette – Velvet, but classy.
  9. Vin’nyla – I feel like this is something I’d order in a restaurant.
  10. Windy – Like, is this one pronounced windy as in ‘it’s blowing a gale?’ or windy as in country roads?

DA BOYZ:

  1. bray loves a durry

    Brayan: He’s only ever gonna be called Bray. He also pulls bongs with Davo and Simmo on the weekends.

  2. Kanaan: Boganus Exoticus.
  3. Kairo: How the Kardashians didn’t snap this one up is beyond me.
  4. Pluto: If this kid isn’t into either Mickey Mouse Club House or NASA, it’ll be majorly disappointing.
  5. Precise: This name just feels a little, I dunno, inaccurate?
  6. Sincere: This name just feels a little, I dunno, fake?
  7. Tenysi: This had me totally stumped until I saw the Kidspot article said it’s ‘Tennessee’ – but spelt the six-year-old way.
  8. Tigger: I actually don’t mind Tig. Let’s hope this gets legally shortened.
  9. Tokyo: At least it’s spelt correctly.
  10. Wiatt: Wi change the spelling? Wiiiiiii????

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