Talking about money can be bloody awkward.
When my partner Sam and I first got together about 64 years ago, he was a big old tight arse. He would want to split the bill every single time and would keep tabs on ridiculous shit. It was gross and a tad unattractive to say the least.
I knew I had to bring it up with him but money chats are so iccccky. I remember feeling so sick about it but just bit the bullet one day while we were watching tv. I turned to him and told him that the money set up was not working for me. I’m not as sensitive as I probably should be so it probably went a little something like this: “You are tight and it’s totes unattractive, stop it”.
It was indeed an uncomfortable conversation because a tight arse isn’t usually aware of how stingy they actually are. I gave example after example and the poor dude had nowhere to hide.
He just figured girls liked to pay their own way and he was young and indeed… cheap.
To Sam’s credit he took everything on and did a 180 in the tightness department. He started to pick up the bill more often and stopped keeping track of who got what. He actually became a lot more generous in every area of his life. I started to want to pash his face off again.
I have always worked and always made my own money. I liked knowing that I could (and often did) pay for both of us, but even as a strong feminist, sometimes I just like the dude to pay. I’m okay with that hypocrisy as well.
Now Sam and I are two kids deep and mortgaged up to our eyeballs, our money set up is very combined but we do still have seperate bank accounts.
We also have a joint account but I never ever want to give up my personal account. Not that Sam would care what I buy, but I never want to be questioned on my spending and I also like the independence and freedom it gives me. There isn’t even much cash in my personal account, but it represents more to me than just money.
Everyone has different set ups with money in their relationship and I always find it interesting how others work it.
Chelsea from I Heart Bargains came over for an ‘Up Close’ series and this was one of the topics we covered. Check it out below.
You can also listen to our chat with Chelsea in podcast form below. Check it out, then head here to subscribe to our pod.