So, I cannot tell you the number of articles I have read about people condemning their childless friends for “not getting it” or for being selfish or doing things they can’t stand.
And sure, a lot of friendships change when you go down the family road and they don’t – your lives become very different.
Those friends are usually what I call ‘seasonal’ though, where you were close because your lives aligned at the certain time and you were doing and interested in the same things – IE getting shitfaced every weekend and spending your cash on dresses you could afford lol.
But when I talk about friends, I mean those evergreen ones (yes, I’m talking in tree analogies, you love it don’t lie).
Those friends you’ve had for years, decades even. Where you might not even see or talk for long periods but you know they’re still your bestie.
Those friends who you don’t spend every weekend together but every milestone or momentous occasion they are never missing, no matter how far they’ve got to travel.
Those friends who at the press of a button and psychotic meltdown are there with wine in hand ready to listen as quick as they are to tell you that you’re being a fuckwit and snap out of it when needed!!
And for me those friendships have not skipped a beat since becoming a mum, in fact they are as strong as they’ve ever been!
You see in my close circle, I’m the minority.
for me those friendships have not skipped a beat since becoming a mum, in fact they are as strong as they’ve ever been!
I am one of the only ones who has kids and most of my girlfriends are out building empires, buying up property, dominating in their fields and for the most part either single or yet to be married (look, I’m not trying to rush you but I’ve got bulk hens’ ideas I need to unleash ladies – come on!!)
To make it even harder, I moved away from where I spent my teens and early 20’s so there’s a physical distance to overcome too.
But guaranteed, every baby shower, every birthday and all those times in between they are there. First to arrive to help me set up and last to leave to clean and drink wine with!
They are the ones going all out for a dress up party and actually excited to do it.
They love spending time with my girls, perhaps because it’s still a novelty not having their own. But I know I cannot wait for them to have their own babies so I can embrace in all the newborn cuddles and spoil them rotten on their birthdays and okay you caught me….drink wine with their mums.
Just like you get giddy in the experience of sharing these little people with your husband, I cannot wait for the joy of sharing kids with my besties and being able to do what they’ve always done for me.
I love that we still have the same conversations. We talk about boys, we giggle over sex stories, we bitch about work, and we catch up on the latest gossip. There’s also sometimes sprinkles of baby stuff and they are always happy to hear it.
I think my girlfriends would agree that I didn’t change much in that sense when I became a mum, I am still a young ambitious female who loves wine and a goss – I also now moonlight as a snack bitch and human tissue on the side!
It probably reflects in the mum friends I do have too, who are all very much the same as me – as they say, your vibe attracts your tribe.
But to all my kid free girlfriends, I just wanted to let you know just how amazing you are. And thank you for sticking by me and helping me retain my identity, all while helping me through the whirlwind that is parenthood with a smile on your face and glitter in your hair.
This post was originally published as To My Kid-Free Friends… by Olivia White. You can check out her blog, House of White, here.