Love + Sex, Relationships

Eye crusties and morning breath make sexy time a definite NO-GO zone

Monty by Monty
May 1st, 2016

You usually sit on one side of the fence when it comes to this question. Some of you horndogs will be up for it anytime day or night, but most of us have a preference.

Let’s get to know each other a little better, and mum if you are reading this now, stop yourself.

In the 18 years that I have been ‘doing it’, not once have I taken part in morning fornication. Yucko. I think my disgust in morning mating definitely comes from my obvious paranoia about bad breath.

No one, not even Beyonce, has peachy breath in the am and that is one big ass turn off to me. I know that you can flip your body this way and that way so the mouth doesn’t point in the general direction of the nose, but even knowing the pong exists is enough to close up my shop for business.

When people invade my personal space all I can hear in my head is my internal voice screaming ‘BREATH, BREATH, BREATH’. When  I see morning love scenes of television, no matter how hot, heavy and perfectly executed they are, the breath alarm goes off in my head like a police siren.

So, that is my reasoning behind my banging time preference. Not to mention eye sleep, sweat from a hot doona, eeeew the list goes on. I realise I sound like a true princess here, but at least I am a clean one with mints on hand 24/7.

What is your preference? Morning or night sex? Or are you a cheeky day kinda gal when the kids are napping?

Yumi Stynes and I had this chat. Check it out below.

Have you heard our new podcast, Show+Telling? In our latest ep, Monty, Stace and Mel chat about losing it at their kids, uncontrollable sweating and mating for life. Have a listen below, then head here to subscribe to our podcast.