When it comes to romance, cutesy-talk and pet names, I’m on the lower end of the scale. Like, REAL low down in CBF town. In the 20 years my husband and I have been together, we’ve never called each other anything but our actual names. Actually, I lie; he drops the ‘a’ from the end of my name and calls me ‘Meliss’, but that doesn’t really count because it’s what those closest to me have always called me. So, nope. Not romantic at all.
I’m not sure what chip I’m missing, but I’ve got zero tolerance for pet names. Something inside me does one of those internal shivers when I hear couples call each other ‘snookums’ or ‘pumpkin’ or anything remotely in that realm. And if those names are said in baby-talk, then I don’t think we can hang out. Each to their own, and more power to you if it floats your boat and all that, but that stuff just sends my cringe-o-meter into overdrive.
So you can imagine how disturbed I was when I heard this voice note South African golfer Jared Harvey recorded for his girlfriend – or should we say his ‘Bok Boks’. His ‘Du-Du Bear.’ His ‘special person‘. Jared accidentally made the very dangerous mistake of sending this very special message to the wrong WhatsApp group – so instead of it reaching his ‘baby bear’, he sent it to a group of mates. And realising they’d struck the actual funniest piece of gold in history, they decided to release it for the whole world to enjoy. Because why should they have all the fun?
Let’s just say I almost went into a full, foetal-position body roll on this one. Have a listen…
18 names in ONE MINUTE. I sure hope Jared’s GF Claire is on the same page when it comes to the ‘baby bears’ and all that extra specialness, otherwise this message would’ve dried her up quicker than the Sahara.
Jared’s been a great sport though and is taking all the ridicule on the chin like a champ, as you can see in the clip below.
Onya Jared. You keep doin’ you, Boo.
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