I trekked off recently for an OS adventure. It was well needed and post breakup. The kind of trip that you say is for shopping and relaxation but really is a mission to flirt with boys in a foreign land. Thanks to a handy app called What’s-App the contact with one of them (let’s call him Oscar) continued well into my return abode. What’s-that, What’s-App you ask? It is an app that allows you to chat, send messages and audio texts through the internet. So it works like Viber and is perfect for travelling or communicating with people overseas.
First the chats with Oscar were polite enquiries concerning my safe arrival home. They kept coming thick and fast over the next month and were flirty and fun. One Sunday afternoon, flirty and fun ran its course and this message came through with a beep –
Him: “Send me a picture of you”.
Me: “Hmmmm. Ok, sure! Specific requests…?”
Him “I want to see as much of you as I can”.
Me “YOU FIRST!”
This is when PANIC struck and I sat on my couch in a 1980’s Kylie Minogue nightie and affirmed, ok, you can do this. But I had no idea how.
So first step was a walk to the mirror, where I starting taking pictures of myself teamed with an uncontrollable laugh. Not in a giggle innocent flirty way, in an evil –single-white-female -way. This was so nerve racking! These messages had not been in the daily text rounds with past boyfriends before but it felt super exhilarating so I continued. Kylie nightie was first to go and on went the matching Victoria Secret bra and knickers. Now what? I pondered. How to stand? Where to look? What to do with my hands? A shudder of shame went up my spine as concern grew that these pics could also classify as selfie’s! *gasps*
I started snapping pictures fast (potentially 360 shots) and then furiously scanned through them. They looked ridiculous. But once the character kicked in, (I imagine how Beyonce feels before channelling Sasha Fierce) it started to feel fun and I felt ok enough with one of them that I pressed send! My stomach flipped. I had no idea if it was right or would impress, but was pleasantly surprised at the reaction and this is where this story ends… for you.
It was super liberating and fun. A sense of relief did set in that I remembered to keep my big confused mug out of the shot. I have not since taken a job up in the porn industry or will be an underwear model in the next 18 years but it felt nice to push through the embarrassment and self-doubt and give it a go. Not long after a beep went through with a request for a pic with my head IN IT. I told him he was dreamin’.
So a first time Sexter? Never fear. Stacey’s here.
1. Please don’t include your head. You don’t really know this person do you? And even if you do, things turn pear. Sorry, but they do.
2. Google Scarlett Johansson selfie. Then don’t look at her face and try and copy the shape. FOCUS ON THE SHAPE.
3. If you are not giggling and instead gasping for air from anxiety, ask yourself this: are you going to get pleasure from a picture in return from this person? If the answer is no, then put the phone down and turn the Kardashians back on.
Have you ever sent a sexy selfie? How did that turn out for you?
*Stacey June and her girl pals exchange more tips on sexting on their new podcast Thinkergirl: The Podcast. The poddy is a yarn between three radio girls, Stace, Dani and Kristie, who have dumped their co-hosts for an hour each week and chat about stuff that girls are thinking but not saying! Listen here .