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Yet again my christmas tree is not what I envisioned.

Monty by Monty
December 9th, 2015

I bloody love Christmas. I wouldn’t say I’m a jolly person overall, but for the month of December I am basically a ginger-bread house eating, decoration-hanging, present-wrapping, Mariah Carey-singing jolly little pig.

We put up our tree last week and it looks okay… I guess. Kids ruin christmas trees. Seriously, four year olds need to get a little style when it comes to decorating. NO two baubles should hang off the one branch. My son did not get that memo. I was a gritted teeth jolly pig while putting up the tree this year.

It’s fair to say that my tree is the opposite to the ones you’ll see below. If you have kids in your house then there is buckleys chance you can have a tree that looks like these. Unless your kids behave like trained dogs. Mine do not. Hence me never, ever achieving a tree like these.

Bec Judd must be guarding her tree for dear life because,  although not traditional tree, it’s stunning. What the below picture doesn’t show is the sound effects that would have come along with it. Note: Child’s finger not actually touching decoration. If she is anything like me, she would have been yelling at the tot like a banshee to got no closer.


Grab some eggnog elves. Check out the below beauties…


Lights on floor? These would end up in my babies mouth in .2 of a second.


Look easy. Is ANYTHING but!

Rainbow Bright.

Rainbow Bright.

This would give my kids nightmares.

This would give my kids nightmares. When I say kids, I mean me.

Hipster tree

Arty Farty.

Ant party.

Ant party.

Woody goodness

Woody goodness