The traditional retail experience is dying on us. Why trudge through a Westfield when you can get everything online these days people say? I love an ASOS delivery as much as the next girl, but there’s lots I’ll miss about ‘real’ shopping.
Bye bye, Boost Juice….
At 11am, no one needs 500mls of yogurt and half a kay gee of mango whizzed into a fluro drinking receptacle the size of their head. But when you’re hungover and traipsing through Myer looking for a going-out top for a birthday dinner you don’t even want to go to, it just feels right. Where else but a shopping centre can you overhear the words: ‘If I don’t get a Jumbo Bananarama in the next 15 minutes, I’m going to lose my mind’.
Farewell, impulse purchases…
Even after all these years in the trenches, you still believe you’re impulse-proof. After all, you’re saving.
‘Just need to pop in for a JB Voucher and some wrapping paper, then I’ll be right out’.
‘Accidentally’ walking back to your car with a loaded Priceline bag, 2-for-$99 jeans and a cheap jingly necklace is a unique thrill you can’t replicate online. Sure, you can load up your virtual cart with sneaky extras on the way to the PayPal register. But the rush is not the same.
Ahh, the perfumery section. My affair started with frenzied spritzes of Hugo Boss and apple shaped-DKNY in the 90’s. I’m captivated by that noxious little corner, sniffing bottles like deranged a deranged love junky.
The shop assistants, gassed up to the eyeballs on Flowerbomb, are only too eager to help find your iconic parfum. Cinnamon vs nutmeg. Femme fatale vs urban chic (whatever that smells like). ‘Have you got something in a summer rose? No musk’.
Who knows what kind of celebrity skankwater we’ll unwittingly purchase online. Until I can smell through my computer screen, I ain’t clicking. Plus, I need all those tester cards for my undie drawer.
Think of the children!
Without shopping centres, what will teenagers do with their ample free time? There’s a whole generation who might miss out on the buzz of petty shoplifting and wagging Period 6 English to hang out at the food court and compare belly button rings. I feel sad for them.
(Teenagers: Um, 40 year old loser? We have Snapchat and can legally wear neon jeans. We’re good.’)
If I’m in a mood, there’s nothing that re-aligns my chi quite like a solo trip to Chadstone. A few hours, a new lipstick and $6 worth of salted junk from Nutshack later, I’m a whole different woman. I literally don’t know where else to go. The gym? Please.
Online browsing might be convenient, but it can’t soothe the soul. Have you heard poor Lindsay Lohan has developed a $5K a day online habit? Now, if anyone needs some real-life bra shopping and a Max Brenner mocha, it’s her. Meet us outside The Body Shop on Level 2 next Saturday, Linds. We’ll sort you out.
Do you prefer to hit the shops or buy online?