Parenting, What's On Our Mind

I didn’t feel that overwhelming love when I held my baby for the first time

Monty by Monty
August 14th, 2016

I assumed that as soon as my baby was born I would feel this overwhelming, intoxicating, all consuming love.

A couple of my friends had kids before me and when I was pregnant I asked them how it felt the moment they held their baby for the first time. They all seemed to fall instantly and wildly in love. I assumed I would feel the same when I gave birth, but I didn’t.

I didn’t feel the instant gush of love with either of my children.

When my first son Bax was about three hours old and  my partner Sam and I were alone for the first time with him, I remember looking over to Sam and saying “I’m not feeling much”…he looked back at me and said “me neither, but that’s okay.” That one sentence gave me so much relief because it made me know what I was feeling wasn’t wrong.

I loved Bax straight away but I didn’t feel ‘in love’ with him. As the days went on I grew to love him more and more and I vividly remember the love bomb hitting me. He was ten weeks old and he smiled at me for the first time (slow to the smile party). That one little smile made me realise just how in love I was with this little man.

With my second son Arlo, I didn’t worry when I didn’t feel that instant love after he was born. It grew over the weeks as well. I would have liked to have felt that rush of instant love, but it doesn’t really matter, the love certainly came and gets more intense every day.

Sophie Cachia aka The Young Mummy and I chatted about the early days of being new mums. Check it out below.

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