What's On Our Mind

How you know it’s time to give up share house living.

Ashe Davenport by Ashe Davenport
May 8th, 2013

My boyfriend and I recently decided not to live together anymore. By that I mean we had a fight and I moved a 1989 Nissan pulsars worth of s**t to my parents’ house instead of going to work one morning. (I’m pretty cute and spontaneous like that). As a result, I’m currently living in a share house, on the bottom floor of a creaky terrace with a view of some rusty nails and an old sandwich down the side of the house.

The following are examples of why it might be time to hang up my split bills and hidden toothpaste. Or stick the bills to the bathroom mirror WITH the toothpaste – then run away to a small coastal town and open a hat shop.

  • images-4I woke up recently to a trio of early twentysomethings sleeping on the floor in my housemate’s room with the door open. Friends of his, one would assume, but there were no blankets or pillows. The blinds were open and it was hot as hell… The smell of alcohol and sweat was palpable. To be honest I felt like I was witnessing a crime scene.
  • I’m highly uncomfortable with the fact that no one living in the house is there legally. They’re friends with a couple of people who might be on the lease? However this means I can’t get content insurance or a parking permit for the pulse. (Old)
  • I convinced myself that my future happiness at the house lay in removing the shoulder-height weeds from the backyard. It didn’t.
  • I’ve been staring at the same pair of men’s underwear on the bathroom floor every morning for the past eight days. It’s developed into a fun, Lady Macbeth style internal monologue, ”I can’t believe they’re still there.. I’m just going to pick them up. NO you won’t. Don’t you dare. What, will this floor ne’re be clean?” I’ve never felt sexier in my entire life.

I’m not saying run out and get a mortgage or dive back into premature domestic bliss-hell with your significant other, but if you’re feeling the strain of the late twenties/early thirties house share situation, ask around! The still fun but starting to take an interest in health and gardening community (over 28’s) need housemates too. And that’s really more of a ‘shared house’ situation.

Have you had a nightmare share house situation?

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