It’s not until you decide to start trying to have a baby that you realise how invasive the ‘are you pregnant?’ or ‘when are you having a baby?’ questions really are. More often than not, you don’t know that person’s story…you don’t know their struggle or perhaps they’re pregnant but it’s early days and they just don’t want you to be the first to know. Funny, but they may want to tell their parents before you. Shock horror.
I took a while to fall pregnant and was preparing to jump on the IVF train. I didn’t trust my body and I felt let down by the fact that I may not be able to do what my body was technically made for.
During this time, I was asked WAY too often if I was pregnant, or when I was going to have a child. It felt like a punch in the face every time someone asked. The truth is, when you ask someone if they’re pregnant…you are either making them feel like their body is failing them, or you’re making them feel like they’re carrying extra weight. Neither is okay.
That might sound little dramatic but speaking from experience…that is the harsh reality of what is seemingly a simple question.
Jessica Biel sat down for a chat with our old mate Ellen and spoke about the pregnancy rumour circulating about her and husband Justin Timberlake…without even realising her reply went straight to her weight. “I don’t even know what to say about these things. I feel like, I thought I was going good with yoga practice. I thought I was in the gym, but no, I have a gut apparently.”
It made me angry…and it validated my feelings around asking people this VERY personal question. Ever since I started my journey of parenthood (and lost my sanity along the way) I have never asked another woman this question…and never will. If you see me skipping down the street with my saggy boobs flopping and my tummy looking five months pregnant, please don’t ask me. I just might hurt you.
Has you ever been asked if you’re pregnant when you’re not?