One of the trickiest things in a relationship can be figuring out how to work your cashola. The chat about who pays for what can only be dodged for so long, especially when you are sharing the same nest. The “money talk” is inevitable.
It can be a bit of trial and error figuring out what works the best for your relationship in money land. Nearly every couple I know handles their money slightly differently.
Sam and I were quite young when we got together, so we used to split pretty much every thing 50/50. It worked well for a while but then it started to give me the shits. It began to make me feel like we weren’t a team. Splitting bills is what mates do and I was giving him way more sugar than a platonic friend should receive.
I found it really awkward to bring this up with him for some reason. Discussing money isn’t high on my favourite things to do list, so I avoided it until it was driving me batty. I liked knowing I could afford to pay for myself, and also shout him if I so desired, but I also really like when the man pays. It didn’t take any of my power away allowing my boyfriend to shout me. This was a big change in our relationship. I loved that our money felt more like ‘ours’. He would pay for things and I would pay for others, it started to feel like we were a real partnership.
When we moved in together we had to tweak the way we worked our money out again. We both kept our personal bank accounts and started a joint one as well. All bills, mortgage, food, baby needs etc started to come out of the joint account (that we both topped up after pay day.)
Even though our money is very shared I like the freedom and independence of having some of my own pennies in a separate account. I like purchasing what I want with the money I have made. It makes me feel independent within the relationship. I don’t want Sam to know every little thing I choose to spend my money on (not that he would care) but I don’t need to know that about him either. This works for us right now. I know that over time it will change again and, as we have more kids and bigger financial demands, it will need to be re-worked once again.
When she was On the Couch, the beautiful Zoe Foster Blake spoke to Monty about Money, Career and Taking Risks.
How did you and your partner work your money?