I have been a mum for four years now, I have two young boys (4 and 17-months-old).
What came along with my first baby was a whole set of new emotions, joys, stresses and feelings. Being a mum so far has been a mixed bag of mind-blowing awesomeness as well as a whole lot of ‘what the actual fuck?’. There is nothing as rewarding or as challenging as being a mum. The day I heaved my baby out is the same day that I also became extremely aware of something known as “mother’s guilt.” Yes, that old biatch. If you are a mum I’m sure you’ve become well acquainted with it too. I’ve spent a good chunk of the last four years with this mole of a thing tugging at me.
There doesn’t seem to be one mum who hasn’t experienced it. There is a spectrum of this kind of guilt, some mums feel it occasionally and other’s feel it Every. Single. Day! For the good part of four years I’ve sat on the every single day part of the spectrum.
This guilt business is a foreign concept to my partner. He has never experienced guilt like I have when it comes to our kids. He has the odd moment of not feeling great in the parenting department but he has never spent hours in a therapy chair trying to figure out how to handle the guilt better…(like I have), he hasn’t shed a single tear over guilt (I have howled a river) and he has spent a total of zero seconds talking to other dads about how they deal with their ‘father’s guilt’ (main topic of conversation with my friends). This guilt I talk about is choc full of estrogen, it’s so female that it basically has boobs and is something only other mother’s can understand.
Just recently I have finally given myself a break and decided not to feel the over whelming guilt that lived on my shoulder for YEARS when it came to my boys. I have always really struggled with that word ‘balance’ (which I fucking hate), when it comes to work, life and family. I’m a mum who is so revoltingly in love with her boys but I’m also a woman who wants to pursue her career. I still find it challenging; but after talking to so many woman both friends and professionals, I have come to a place that I am now accepting of not always kicking ass in both departments. I’m ok with the fact that sometimes shit isn’t going to get done on the work or kid front and believe it or not my world isn’t going to crumble, even though at times it has so felt like it will.
Brooke, Stace and I decided to share our biggest mother’s guilt with you. We hope that by sharing it we can drop the guilt and just get on with it.
We are all mum’s, doing the best we can and no one else is putting the pressure on us like we put on ourselves. This video was challenging for us to do. Tears took place after it because we really felt what we were saying. The guilt we share had us hook line and sinker. Time to drop that shit though. Time to #droptheguilt.
We would LOVE you to share your biggest guilt with us so you can drop it too.
YOU are doing a kick ass job and that mother’s guilt can rack right off.
Video of our biggest mother’s guilt below: