Murphy’s law is the prevailing legislation at my house. Since having babies, the execution of simple everyday chores have become a struggle.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m sleep deprived or just clumsy but it seems if something can go wrong, it will.
Now I’m not talking the big stuff! No, it’s the little everyday fluffs that make life difficult.
If there’s a matchbox car on the ground my foot will find it, if there’s just enough milk left for breakfast I’ll drop it. If there’s only one nappy left, the baby will poo twice that day.
If I go to the supermarket I’ll inevitably forget my shopping list, if I try to subtley break wind down a seemingly abandoned aisle it’ll trumpet out in front of a group on school excursion. If at the check out someone compliments me on my children they’ll start screaming, possibly swearing. If I’m balancing a baby, bag, shopping and gripping a runaway toddler I will drop my keys. I will then realise I’ve forgotten to buy milk.
If I vacuum, my son will decide he wants fried rice for dinner (the messiest of all dinners) and if I do manage to get a decent amount of vegetables into him he will vomit. If I give them both a little nappy off time, one, or possibly both will poo, and if I don’t find it right away and start congratulating myself on a successful no nappy hour there’ll be a terd mural waiting for me in another room. If one child has a good night sleep, the other certainly won’t and if by some miracle they both sleep through, I’ll have insomnia.
I don’t know who Murphy was, but I’m not a fan.
This column was originally posted on themumsgroup.com.au