Yep, I, Hayley Louise Pearson just bathed in urine. And no, I didn’t do this as some weird Gwyneth Paltrow beauty treatment to get smoother legs or anything. It was a conscious decision that I made, while of sound mind.

Here’s me trying to justify it…

I had one of those days. You know the ones, where you hardly have time to get out of your PJs. It was non-stop at the Farm Barn. By ‘Farm Barn’, I mean ‘my home’ with a 3-year old and a 3-month old.

Today was unusually difficult. Both monkeys were wanting 100 percent of my attention at the same time. So, while bouncing up and down, trying to settle the 3-month old, I was entertaining my 3-year old, by pretending to be Mr Maker. All the while, trying to clean up his macaroni that had been thrown AND squashed all over the floor. Some call this ‘multitasking’. I call it being a mum.

So, as soon as my husband walked in from work at 6pm, I headed straight for the bathroom.

I locked the door behind me and instantly felt safe, like nobody could get me. Weird, I know. I ran a bath, extra bubbles were needed today. And I sheepishly sunk into the bath, eyes rolling back into my head, as the water rushed all over my aching body and up to my ears. It was like I had pressed the mute button; I could hear nothing.  I was in heaven.

The cold breeze from the open window, together with the warm, soapy silky bath. Oh man, it was exactly where I wanted to be. Until, I needed to wee. Oh crap! What to do?! If I get out of the bath and exit the bathroom, I risk my 3-year old hearing me. I know he’ll then run in and start splashing bubbles all over the floor and my serene perfect moment will be ruined. Is it worth it?

Maybe the combination of extreme heat and bubble fumes had started to alter my perception of what was right and what was hideously-gross. The line was blurry. So I weed. Yes, I chose to bathe in my own urine. Because that was the more favourable option, than risking my 3-year old hearing me and ruining my perfect, perfect bath.

I’m gross, I know. I think in my heightened state, I may have convinced myself that urine was good for the skin!