Parenting, What's On Our Mind

I am struggling with this parenting caper today…

Monty by Monty
March 30th, 2015

Tips on how to parent please!

I realise that question sounds like a big fat old trap. No one ever usually wants parenting advice, but today my lovely Show + Tellers, I need all you got.

Let me lay out the situation for you.

There is a boy named Scotty. (Scotty is not his real name, his real name is Bax and he is my son but for privacy reasons I will refer to him as Scotty).

Scotty is 3.5 years old. He is all forms of fabulous rat bagness. He is equal parts hilarious, naughty, adorable and pain in the ass.

Scotty was the only child for 2.8 years before his little brother Rufus came along eight months ago (again…for privacy reason my son Arlo will be referred to as Rufus).

Rufus (Arlo) and Scotty (Bax)

Rufus (Arlo) and Scotty (Bax)

Scotty and Rufus are madly in love. No one can make little Rufus laugh as much as his big brother can. Seeing them interacting in their own little way melts the cockles of even the iciest heart.

However, all will be going swimmingly with the brothers for approx 15 seconds before Scotty turns rough. Super rough. He gets up in his little brother’s grill, hits him, pokes him, wacks him in the head with toys, pushes him over etc etc…

There are equal parts love and jealousy. Without fail every time Scotty goes near Rufus he will do something little to him that would not feel pleasant, to say the least.

Scotty and Rufus’s mum (aka Me/Monty) is EXHAUSTED. I am spending every second police-ing my 3.5 year old. I feel like every word that leaves my mouth is, “gentle, get off him, stop it, get away from him, time out.”

I am struggling to know how to handle this situation. Obviously, being young brothers they are always together, so at the moment, every waking second is spent trying to minimise the roughness.

At the moment I am putting Scotty into ‘time out’ daily, sometimes twice, thrice.

I have spoken to a few friends about this but no one’s kid seems to try and deliberately hurt their younger sibling that much.

I am at a loss. I want more than anything for them to be besties but I am under no illusion that siblings fight– I have a few of my own and it has been far from an easy ride. I just worry about Scotty trying to hurt Rufus all the time. I can’t leave them in a room alone for more than 20 seconds without hearing Rufus cry and walking in to find a guilty look on Scotty’s face.

Help. Me.

M x

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