Relationships, What's On Our Mind

Tinder advice from a Tinder addict

Cath Williams by Cath Williams
August 14th, 2014

Hi my name is Cath and I’m addicted to Tinder.

I’m hopeless when it comes to love and dating. I never seem to pick the right guy and things never really turn out. I have tried a few different online dating sites in my time – RSVP, eHarmony, OkCupid  etc etc, and now I’ve found the holy grail of sites…Tinder.

Here’s how it works… it’s a dating app that just uses photos. You say Yes or No to a guy based on his pics. Hence it’s VERY superficial and that’s what makes it fun but terribly brutal at the same time! You judge them and they judge you. The app is also linked to your Facebook account, it shows you if you have mutual friends with your potential new lover (its a jackpot when this happens, it kind of feels like a recommendation, if they’re friends with a mate of mine they can’t be too bad!!). Once you say Yes to someone and they say Yes to you, it comes up as a “Match” and you’re allowed to message each other.

As a seasoned Tinder gal, here are a few rule’s I follow before I swipe ‘Yes’ to these gents.

Avoid the man if:

awkward-selfie–       He has his shirt off (guys leave something a mystery)

–       The photo is taken in a bathroom mirror (eww… no photos should be taken in the bathroom)

–       If he seems intoxicated in every photo (one is ok)

–       If he is sitting inside a Tiger cage, with said Tiger or worse holding a monkey in Thailand.

–       If he’s at the races, and or in a coloured suit.

–       If he’s holding a gun (surprisingly this comes up a lot)

–       If he has taken multiple selfies on his computer

–       If he’s wearing a bintang t-shirt in Bali

–       If he’s holding up a giant fish on a boat

–       If he’s snowboarding or water skiing

–       If he’s inside a gym (cameras aren’t allowed in gyms, full-stop)

–       And if he’s by himself in every photograph (a man needs to have friends)*

This seems like a lot of rules but trust me when you’re judging a different bloke every 10 seconds you need to filter and quickly. To be fair, I’ve asked a lot of guys what they dislike in girls’ photos, their list is significantly smaller. Women who quote Marilyn Monroe, orange tans, girls who only use group shots (its like Where’s Wally) and the number one thing… Duckface!

Now, I will admit with a cringe that I spend HOURS on this app just flicking through men, swiping left (No) and swiping right (Yes).   When I get a “Match” it feels like picking a winner on the The Melbourne Cup, its so god damn exciting. See, told you I’m an addict.

But the key to any dating website is, ‘the follow through’. The scary part!  First dates are ALWAYS awks. You may come across as the hero or the weirdo on the very first date but either way you have to say yes to coffee or drinks. I have lined up three first awks for this week, and if it doesn’t work out I never have to see them again. Perfect.

I have learnt, when arranging a first date its smart to follow the 11 or 3 rule. If you meet for coffee at 11am and its going fabulously well you can stay for lunch, or if it’s terrible, you can dash off after slamming back your latte. Same with 3pm coffee, if it’s all good then go for a sneaky bite afterwards.

The one thing I know for sure is you never know when the love of your life is one simple swipe away. All my single ladies (and gents) give Tinder a go.

Are you on Tinder? How is it going?

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