Parenting, What's On Our Mind

I kiss my son on the bare bum nightly, I don’t ever want this to stop.

Monty by Monty
June 30th, 2014

It has hit me that I only have a limited time to do certain things with my son before I’m deemed a creep, weirdo, or just plain foul.

My son is just 2.5 years old. Something I love to do is pick his nose. Yep, I bloody love it. Nothing excites me more than when he has a crusty little mate up his nostril. I get immense joy throwing my little finger up his nose to grab them out. May I add that this has become a real skill of mine. His head turns at the speed of knots when he see’s my finger approaching, so it’s extremely impressive when I eventually pick a winner. I get as much joy from picking his little nostrils as I do my own. But this activity can only go on for so long.  I think I have another 18 months where this is acceptable behaviour? The cut off time for picking my child’s nose must cease by age four. Until then, his adorable little boneless nose is deemed my property until that day.

Cute little toddler girl picking her nose

Something else I love to do is kiss his little naked bum cheeks. Good GOD I can’t get enough of that little round peach. After every bath (I choose my butt kissing times appropriately) my lips smack each bum cheek until he scurries away. At the moment he finds this game hilarious.

BUT, this derrière kissing game has an end point. There will be a time in the future when kissing his little ass crosses over to wrong town. His bum will eventually get larger and less adorable and no doubt there will come a time when me crawling around on the floor chasing his bare bum becomes a little odd.

I’ve decided that when he is nine years old the butt kissing will stop. I have seven more glorious years of our nightly butt smooching ritual that I plan on making the most of.

I also love kissing my son on his mouth. He hasn’t quite nailed the closed lips kiss properly yet, he dives in with his mouth open. I can’t get enough of his open mouth pashes. I adore his slobber all over my mouth and can often be found begging him for more. My partner finds my son and I making out rather strange. I on the other hand am already mourning the day when his little mouth closes and the kisses swap to my cheek. I can acknowledge that open mouth kissing your son can only fly while they are rather young. There will come a time this act of love will go from adorable to a little icky. So to prevent that occurrence, I think age four is the appropriate time to cease open mouth kissing my son?


I plan on soaking up the years I have left to indulge in these innocent acts of love with my son. It makes me a little sad that before I know it he will be picking his own nose, hiding his bum from me and making out with a female that isn’t me. Actually that last one is probably for the best.


What do you do with your kids that has a time limit?