Being a mum is all forms of awesome but is so far from easy.
I am new to this mum caper and have a lot to learn. What I do know is that as a new mum, you love hearing the ‘real’ stories of parenting from your friends. And by real, I mean REAL. None of this, ‘it’s amazing all the time’ and ‘there is nothing about my old life I miss’. I love it when people keep it honest because it makes you feel like you’re not alone, and to be honest, sometimes being a mum can feel really lonely. We judge ourselves for everything and anything, it seems to come along with the ‘mum’ title. When you hear other mum’s talk about the realities of what being a mum is, it’s like a huge sigh of relief to know you’re not alone. We are all going through the exact same things – even if not everyone admits to it.
I asked some of my favourite mamma bears what they think the biggest misconception about motherhood is. Below are their very honest answers, you may just relate to one or two…. or three or four.
I thought it would complete me. I’m still an independent person with goals and dreams and having a child didn’t complete that for me. Yes they are my number one priority but they are NOT me. I think people also think that mother’s are less reliable in the workforce because they do prioritise children but no-one knows how to multi task like a working mother – Carla.
That it is a ball of fun, games and white picket fences. It ain’t! It’s the hardest job in the world and it’s a career you never walk away from. Yes, it’s rewarding and beautiful but I can’t stand a woman that dances around the hard facts: it’s mega tough and relentless – Chelsea.
I thought it would be a little easier, and at times more fun. ie. I couldn’t wait to go out for lunch with my little man, but it’s so much nicer going out to lunch without a baby – Simone.
That your friendships will not be impacted. I think friendships with child-free friends suffer when you have children. Suddenly your child/children are your number one priority and their needs can, and often do, trump those of your friends. Friends with children get it and forgive you for missing their birthday/not calling for six weeks/going home before 11pm, but as much as child-free friends are understanding (and most would never say this), I think the change in our focus and our lack of attention can alter the dynamic of the friendship. – Anonymous
I used to look at my parents as these amazing people that knew it all and knew what to do and what not to do…all the time! I felt like they never made a mistake. After having children I realised that they were just doing the best they could and that they made mistakes (and its ok). It’s definitely not all smooth sailing and you are constantly questioning your decisions – Jennifer
That you change immediately into a clucky mother hen who loves everything about children and knows exactly what to do next – Pia.
That every day is amazing. Parts of every day are amazing, but not every second of every day – it can be exhausting and sometimes mind-numbing. There’s so much information out there and everyone has an opinion based on what worked for them. You just need to work out what works for you and your family and be confident in your decisions – Mim
That you’ll immediately be in love with your baby as soon as they’re born, I didn’t bond with my first for sometime, my love for him grew as we got to know each other – Elodie.
That it’s all a joy. It’s not – Emma
That I would have lots more time in my life! I mean, being home all day means you have lots of time to do things like cooking, working from home on Show + Tell, etc, because the baby sleeps all day, right? WRONG. There is no time. I have no idea where it goes, but it goes. And getting out isn’t always easy, it’s fine to go for walks and things like that but if you make an appointment to be somewhere at a specific time you can bet that everything can and will go wrong – Brooke
That each child is the same and a one size fits routine fits all – Steff.
That others know what they are doing more than you. We are all just figuring it out – Monty
Motherhood is not a static state of being. It’s an evolution and an on-going lesson – just as you master one “stage”, your children age and change all over again. So a big misconception is thinking you’re ever going to nail it! You’ve just got to try to stay one step ahead of the curve – Gen.
What do you think is the biggest misconception about motherhood?